29 Comments

  1. Claire

    I’m normally a squicky clean person so I don’t like being disorganized. But I totally understand what you mean by mess – as in spending time with the family and have fun, make memories rather than just to keep the house clean.

  2. One just cannot have a toddler and clean home at the same time. I don’t have kids my own yet but I have seen the struggle that many of my friends go through.
    Amazing post!

    • Brittani Douglas

      Thank you! I think it’s about finding the balance between spending time with kids and prioritizing what needs to be done.

  3. I remember the days when my kids were little, and how messy the house always was. We had a cleaning service come once a week so at least I knew it was clean, but having toys around and an open book on the sofa made it feel lived in and happy. x

    • Brittani Douglas

      I agree. I would rather visit someones home that looks and feels like it’s been lived in rather then feel like I’m visiting a show room.

  4. Catvills

    This post is so spot on. My kids are all grown ups but my house is still messy and that’s okay with me. It makes me happy that we still have movie nights, we still spill our drinks on the floor, I still find chips or popcorn under the couch and its fine! Sometimes I get tired picking up after their messes, but it is still better than having a spotless house but empty.

    • Brittani Douglas

      It’s pretty impressive the places I’ve found food that my toddler has stashed to save for later. We’re getting ready for a huge international move and right before most of our stuff was packed she found a pretzel stick, and attempted to eat it. I don’t even remember the last time I bought pretzel sticks, let alone where it’s been hiding that I hadn’t even found yet.

  5. I sort of have an OCD to keep things neat and clean. having said that I dont have kids and I am sure having a clean home with kids running around can b a nightmare.

  6. This really resonates with me! I wholeheartedly believe in mess. I would MUCH rather have a game night or read with my kids in the evening than spend it cleaning my house. I feel lucky right now, though–my 4.5 year old has decided she LOVES to do chores with me so I can spend time with her and clean at the same time. Which is nothing short of amazing.

    I also wrote a blog post on a similar topic about two years ago.
    http://abrightneighborhood.com/index.php/2015/07/31/messy-kids-joyful-mom/

    • Brittani Douglas

      Awesome! I’ll check it out! My 3 year old likes to help, except her idea of helping, is un-sweeping everything we’ve already swept up.

  7. alittlechinwag

    I really liked this post. It just helps us all to refocus the attention on the people and not the environment. The living and the inanimate objects. I do believe it is nice to keep the house clean i.e. when expecting guests and for hygiene etc but it shouldn’t override quality time with the family. Thanks for sharing this post. It puts things into perspective!

    • Brittani Douglas

      Oh of course. There are always certain standards that apply for when guests come over, and there’s a difference between messy and unhygienic. I’m glad you liked the post.

  8. Before I became a stay at home mom, my husband and I could afford a cleaner! Now, things are definitely different. I have learned to become more patient with myself if things don’t get done when I want them to. I’m actually reading this as I procrastinate on doing the damn dishes! UGH

    • Brittani Douglas

      I’ve been procrastinating on dishes and laundry for a couple of days. But my two little ones have also been sick the past few days as well. For awhile I would spend all day every day cleaning, but then at the end of it realize I never spent any of that time with my kids, so one day I just decided that I’d rather play with the kids instead. It’s certainly my husbands first choice when he has to pick between kids and cleaning.

  9. I agree that it is ok that your house is messy. After all memories are created in ordered chaos that might just seem like chaos to the outside world. Beautifully written x

  10. So much truth here! Glad I’m not the only one with a ‘messy’ house! Excuse the dust and clutter…memories are being made here!

    • Brittani Douglas

      We bought a beautiful wooden sign for our door while we’ve been here in Germany that says “The House was clean Yesterday, too bad you missed it.” It’s one of my favorite things we’ve bought for our home!

  11. This is so true. I have two young kids and everyday it looks like a tornado swept through my house. Stepping on little toys every time I walk into a room I will miss someday, so I try to focus on the now and enjoy all the moments of chaos.

    • Brittani Douglas

      I wear shoes in the house now. My husband kept asking me why, until one day he stepped on a toy, and I looked at him and said that’s exactly why I wear shoes in the house now. I constantly say that my house looks like it’s been hit by a tornado and hurricane by the end of each day.

  12. I love this for many reasons. But until this day, I remain on the fence about it. Growing up, I was always organized and neat. My bed was always made. It made me feel open and less cluttered both physically and mindfully. Once I had kids, that old me went out the window. I let it go and let my house become messy because my children were making memories. The more I let it go, the more stressed I got over a messy house. I HATE cleaning but walking into and living in a clean, organized space opens my soul and mind. Currently, its all about moderation. I’m still trying to be okay with the mess LOL

  13. Love this! My cousin has a baby that slowly learns how to walk and my mom always tells her how the house is NOT gonna be clean for some years hahaha!

    • Brittani Douglas

      Once a baby starts walking, it really is all downhill from there. Everything that can possibly end up on the floor does.

  14. There are definitely so many memories to make in a house. And yes, when we try to overclean we over sanitize our children’s experiences. I think we need to not do that. So I agree, a little mess is part of what makes life memorable.

  15. I like this post because it is liberating. I am obsessive compulsive about cleanliness, neatness, and order – vacuuming and swiffering the house multiples times a day, hand-washing dishes after every use. But this made me realize that it’s ok to sit back and relax, and enjoy your home for what it is.

  16. Messy homes are usually full of love n fun n memories. I do tge occasional mad woman on amission cleaning but most times its dump it all in there n lock up 😂😂

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